At the close of The Doomed Stuffing's first blogweek, I'd just like to take the time to tell all my readers (to date, this means some nefarious crumpet-eating Words with Friends opponent named Skipper Dick -- if, indeed, that is his real name -- and me) that I am deeply ashamed with how poorly this blog is doing so far, ratings-wise. I expected to be inundated with comments by numerous proselytes, hermaphrodites, Daisy Duke-shorty-shorts-wearing prostitutes, degenerate gamblers, serial killers, colostomy-bag-wearing former police officers with lengthy past histories of civil-rights violations, curmudgeons, yoga-exercising vegans with rickets and serious protein deficiencies, lesbians, hashish-eaters, Communists, Republicans, Democrats, cocaine abusers, chronic masturbators, retired secretarial clerk-typists, and US government spies masquerading as garbage collectors. I have been vastly disappointed thus far, but I pledge to my meager readership to continue my efforts to lower American standards of journalism even lower than they are now.
Perhaps I'm to blame, meager readers ... but I just can't accept that. No, indeed ... I am fricking spectacular! A credit to the bloggosphere. A champion of tripe and swill, if you will.
Next week will be better.
I'm expecting comments from leprous ex-al Qaida members.
Until then,
THE DOOMED STUFFING
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