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Friday, February 17, 2012

My Apologies, but I'm Awesome

At the close of The Doomed Stuffing's first blogweek, I'd just like to take the time to tell all my readers (to date, this means some nefarious crumpet-eating Words with Friends opponent named Skipper Dick -- if, indeed, that is his real name -- and me) that I am deeply ashamed with how poorly this blog is doing so far, ratings-wise.  I expected to be inundated with comments by numerous proselytes, hermaphrodites, Daisy Duke-shorty-shorts-wearing prostitutes, degenerate gamblers, serial killers, colostomy-bag-wearing former police officers with lengthy past histories of civil-rights violations, curmudgeons, yoga-exercising vegans with rickets and serious protein deficiencies, lesbians, hashish-eaters, Communists, Republicans, Democrats, cocaine abusers, chronic masturbators, retired secretarial clerk-typists, and US government spies masquerading as garbage collectors.  I have been vastly disappointed thus far, but I pledge to my meager readership to continue my efforts to lower American standards of journalism even lower than they are now.

Perhaps I'm to blame, meager readers ... but I just can't accept that.  No, indeed ... I am fricking spectacular!  A credit to the bloggosphere.  A champion of tripe and swill, if you will.

Next week will be better.

I'm expecting comments from leprous ex-al Qaida members.

Until then,


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