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Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Law Is the Flaw

There is a new proposal for a city ordinance being bandied about Shreveport, Louisiana, by arch-Big Brother City Commissioner Michael Williams, who has publicly stated that public pajama-wearing is demonstrative of a loosening of morals in our society. Apparently he went into a Walmart and saw someone wearing pajama pants and saw too much of the offender's nether regions, so he decided what all politicians decide to do when there is such a momentous infraction of human decency: he decided to make a law.

Laws are funny. We need them to protect individuals not only from other individuals who would do them harm, but also from the grinding machinery teeth of government. However, laws usually end up doing most of the grinding, no matter how well-intentioned. This proposed ordinance, though, isn't even well-intentioned. It's stupid -- a very stupid overreaction from a politician who wants to make a name for himself to ostensibly restore moral order to the universe.

Granted, I don't want to walk into a grocery store to buy my daily ten pounds of regular ultra-fatty hamburger only to find the meat aisle empty and John Holmes' heir apparent in a Speedo, holding all my hamburger meat, but that has nothing to do with wearing pajama pants on the street. People who wear pajama pants are not in a moral decline. They're just comfortable. Laws often make me uncomfortable ... because they often presuppose that the law is the law and therefore the law is good, right, moral.

Arch-Big Brother City Commissioner Michael Williams is what better political hacks would call, in the parlance of political hackdom, "a go-getter." I think he represents everything that is wrong with people who are given too much power, too high a pulpit, or too grandiose a sense of self-importance. Less diplomatically on my part, but more to the point, I think he's a total schmuck.

If anyone out there in the terribly lawless and immoral world of the internet wants to contact Arch-Big Brother City Commissioner Michael Williams and tell him what you think of his schmuckiness, here's a link:


The above link contains his home phone, office phone, and e-mail address. Be sure to call him at moral hours. And wear a Speedo while you do it.




7 comments:

  1. I think wearing Speedos while you buy hamburger meat is ofenzif! You shood be ashaymed of yourself!

    Yours truly,
    The Greatest Rocky Horror Picture Show Fan In the World!

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  2. Skipper Dick (if, in fact, that is your true name), I would just like to state for the record that I have NEVER played funky music. I have never done ANYTHING even remotely funky. Once I pulled a dessicated glob of mildewed stuffed crab out of the back of my refrigerated that had been gestating for seventeen months -- that is the closest to funky I have ever gotten. Also, I am not a white boy. I am pasty-yellow, from a corroded liver and overactive gallbladder, both of which are over seventy-five years of age (I stole them from a drunken, Roofied Klansman who thought I was just a fellow traveler who was buying him free drinks and not a nefarious amateur abdominal surgeon.) But thanks for your input, Skipper Dick (if that is, indeed, your REAL name.

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    1. corrections: refrigerator; close parenthesis after "...REAL name." (Blogger needs an edit button for comments that are already posted, the lazy bastards).

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  3. Hey, Richard Reynolds! BLOGGER DOES HAVE AN EDIT BUTTON, YOU FRICKIN' MORON!

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  4. Look, Richard Reynolds ... there's no need to be an insulting PRICK! I know that there is an edit button POSTS, but there isn't an edit button for COMMENTS, you jackoff! Next time, don't be so insulting!

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    1. You're right, Richard Reynolds. I'm sorry. :(

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