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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Purpose of No Purpose

You're probably saying to yourself right now, "Hyram," (I'm having you call yourself Hyram, but if your name is Coolio, Thread Monster, or Anna Nicole Booby Freak, don't worry -- you can just substitute your crazy name for Hyram), "what is this blog, 'The Doomed Stuffing; or, Excursions with Nebulous Earthlings,' all about?"  Well, I'll fill you in.


Blogs are about nothing.  All blogs.  Blogs are as unimportant as having a conversation on the street with a wino prostitute who wants to tell you all her (or his -- I'm all about choice) ideas, beliefs, thoughts, and experiences.  No one really cares what anyone else thinks -- especially wino prostitutes who want to tell you their thoughts on the World Bank/Jewish conspiracy to control America.  In fact, if you're crazy enough to care that a wino prostitute actually believes UFO's are commanded by rectal-probing aliens who want to impregnate Midwestern white farmers to take back fetally aborted samples of redneck-alien tissues for later dissection on their home planet of Krpnukthcth, I certainly have nothing for you.


If you believe Bigfoot is a bear that mated with a gorilla before Pangaea split and the continents of Africa and North and South America were no longer one, you probably won't find anything of interest here.


Oh, sure, maybe once in a while I might come up with some crazy idea.  For instance, I believe rodents are a superior race of humans that evolved because early Man didn't enjoy gnawing on electrical wires enough -- but that's my own personal quirk ... like when I poop in random unlocked vehicles (I always leave a roll of septic-safe toilet tissue when I do this; I'm not a total savage).  Generally, though, this blog will be about reason, logic, atheism (God told me to tell you that He doesn't exist, and that if you don't believe me, you don't believe Him, and He will castrate you eternally in Hell and solder your empty scrotum to Satan's pitchfork), and the occasional odd odds-and-ends that have nothing to do with reality or general human perception.


If you want to read a blog about how much some chick loves her pussycat, hit "Next Blog" on this site, and you probably won't be disappointed anymore.  Humanity, however, should weep inconsolably.


Thank you for your attention, Hyram.

3 comments:

  1. Keep up the good work Sir Spanks-A-Lot,Alot,Alot

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  2. How DARE you, Skipper Dick (if that is, indeed, your real name)! I do not spank a lot! I mean, considering the number of times a bee flaps its wings per second, I would say I spank a rather moderate amount. Unless I'm looking at "a lot" of Google Images of Dido.

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