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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

A Message for the People









I want to talk a little bit about why I hate people.


Now, first, before all you Judeo-Christians (or whatever you are) start blathering about loving your neighbor and scoffing at my unbridled misanthropy, I just want to assure you with the caveat that I absolutely don't hate all people.  I don't even hate most people.  But when I imagine the connotation of the word people, it doesn't conjure up lovely tribe-gatherings of peace-loving, companionable, unified souls interacting with one another with the sympathy and compassion and comradeship of what those commies Marx and Engels probably would have called "The Masses."


People is a word that conjures up images of Penn State University blockheads, drunk on their own sweaty Mickey Finn of anger, alcohol, amphetamines, and stupidity, creating a riot because the coach of their football team got fired because he knew about a sexual misconduct allegation against his assistant coach and did practically nothing (which is what the university hierarchy apparently wanted him to do, which is no excuse).  People seem to genuinely care more about sports than they do about the possibility that one of their precious sports heroes was diddling little boys.  I think this fact, undeniable, is indictment enough against the word people.


Sure, there are good people, but they are perhaps more properly called persons -- if you'll excuse the alliteration.  But people are more likely to cover things up out of fear of losing their jobs or not being able to feed their own kids than they are about the welfare of others.  Whistle-blowers are shunned by people, derided, taunted with names like "Serpico" and "snitch."  People gather together in petty, whispering conspiracies to ostracize anyone who tries to right some egregious wrong.  Persons only occasionally gather together to try to protect the people -- perhaps because persons feel the same way I do about people.


"60 Minutes" reported this Sunday that the FDA allows drug companies to use only the positive studies the drug companies commission to prove the efficacy of their antidepressants (which, it turns out, are not efficacious; unpublished study after unpublished study shows that antidepressants are about as effective as placebo or exercise, but antidepressants have much more dangerous side effects and are much more expensive).  Crap like this could only happen with the deplorable consent of the people involved.


I doubt any persons would have ever been involved in these two examples of the disgraceful conduct of people.


So don't start crying because I hate you, people.  You might just be a person.


If you're not a person, go fuck yourself.

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