Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Keep Your Kids off Drugs by Getting Them Interested in Dogfighting
It's very important that Junior be a good citizen -- and what better way than encouraging him to develop other interests? Drugs are bad, as the school councilor from "South Park" always says, mm-kay, and despite the century-long "War on Drugs," no progress in the American drug problem has been made. In fact, drug usage has become far worse than it was when you could kick the mud off your spurs, slap your horse's reins around that wooden bar outside your favorite local tavern, and mosey on in to the watering hole to legally order a box of Bayer's Heroin Tablets from the surly barkeep, who always had dyspepsia because his liver was shot from overindulgence in alcohol. So take junior to a dogfight. Let him feel like he's Michael Vick for a day. C'mon, parents! Kids need heroes! Family is important.