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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Keep Your Kids off Drugs by Getting Them Interested in Dogfighting

It's very important that Junior be a good citizen -- and what better way than encouraging him to develop other interests?  Drugs are bad, as the school councilor from "South Park" always says, mm-kay, and despite the century-long "War on Drugs," no progress in the American drug problem has been made.  In fact, drug usage has become far worse than it was when you could kick the mud off your spurs, slap your horse's reins around that wooden bar outside your favorite local tavern, and mosey on in to the watering hole to legally order a box of Bayer's Heroin Tablets from the surly barkeep, who always had dyspepsia because his liver was shot from overindulgence in alcohol.  So take junior to a dogfight.  Let him feel like he's Michael Vick for a day.  C'mon, parents!  Kids need heroes!  Family is important.


  1. That is outrageous, Myself! You should be ashamed of yourself, Myself! You are the most evil blogger in the world! God shall punish you by stuffing your innards with Vicks Vaporub!

  2. I strenuously object to your advice to parents to take their children to dogfights to keep kids off dope! You should be ashamed of yourself, you terrible moral mutant! Dogs should not fight! Dogs should live together in peace! Dogs feel pain! Cats feel pain! Fish feel pain! Lotus flowers feel pain! Air feels pain! Do not touch the grass, lest you destroy one blade leaf, you evil bastard!
    --PETA member